The Oddest Post-mortem I have ever seen

I will protect the names of the innocent and guilty, basically because I am lazy.

Long time ago (close to 20 years, I think), I went to my first major tournament. A good friend of mine, a Senior Master now long retired from competitive chess, wanted to go play in a “big” tournament and asked if I was interested. So we headed off with him playing the Open section and me playing in a lesser mortal section (where I did quite well, thank you very much – but that is a different story). Anyway, one of the games my Senior Master friend played against was this older IM. Now for years, this IM had had stories swirling around him about the validity of his IM norms and possible “payments” towards earning said IM norms. In other words, this IM was considered by some as a decidedly shady character but still a very strong player (and would have crushed me a hundred times over).

So my friend and the IM square off – my friend has black. And during the game my friend is slowly getting beaten, and realizing this decides that rather than getting tortured for hours, he would go for a riskier continuation – which ultimately did not work and he quickly went down in flames. I had wrapped up my game and watched the latter part of the game, including the “flame out” part.

After the game concluded, the IM asked my friend if he would like to go over the game (i.e., a post-mortem). Sure, he replied, and I gladly tagged along. After all Senior Master and an IM were going to conduct a post mortem – what an incredible learning opportunity for me. So they sit down and begin to go over the game and IM completely dominates the conversation. OK, I think, he won the game, probably within his rights. But then the IM says, “And according to Alekhine”… and then speaks GERMAN for a good minute or two. I think, "What???????" I look over at my friend, who is impassive. The IM then goes over a couple more moves and then repeats this with “And Botvinnik stated…”and then says something in RUSSIAN. Again, I look over at my friend, still impassive. And I am thinking to myself: "Wow, I have a lot to learn about conducting post-mortems."

So the post-mortem lasts a couple more minutes, during which my friend says absolutely nothing. They shake hands and part. As we are walking away and not within earshot of anyone, I ask if that how all post-mortems go between titled players. My friend gives me this look like I am crazy and says, “Absolutely not. I stopped listening when he quoted Alekhine and started thinking of the ways I could kill him.”